My Christmas Surprise

This year I guess my husband wanted to get me something extra special for Christmas. Back in November he asked me which weekend we had free in December and I told him the weekend of the 5th, so he told me to keep it free and that I would have to deal with getting my present early this year (fine by me!) So I figured that we were probably going somewhere or going to some sort of show or something. He told me he would let me know what was going on the night before so I could be prepared if I needed to be. Well on that Friday night when he got home from work at 1 am, he woke me up and gave me a card. First of all, it was seriously a REALLY pretty card. On the inside he had wrote "I didn't get you perfume, but I still wanted to get you Romance. Love, Chris" (One of the things I wanted this year was some RL Romance perfume.) Anyhoo, and then folded up was a printed off online reservation to stay at the Amway Grand downtown. I was like YESS!!!! I have ALWAYS wanted to stay there, and seriously, how freakin sweet is that?! And not only that, but he booked us the "romance plus package." We got to check in early and check out late, access to the pool/hot tub/exercise center, a $50 voucher to any restaurant in the hotel, which there are a ton to pick from, and they brought champagne and truffles to our room that night. Needless to say, I was pretty stoked. And he already had it all worked out for our dogs to be taken care of (we only live like 3 miles from downtown.)

It was a romantic snowy afternoon! This was one of the views from our room!

After we checked in, we walked over to Hop Cat and grabbed a quick bite to eat for lunch. They have really great food there and some awesome beers *they were rated 3rd best beer bar in the world!!*

Me by one of the really pretty trees at the Amway.

After that we changed, went back out, and went ice skating in the rink that is seriously like 100 ft. from the hotel. I wanted to bring the camera and take pictures, but it was my first time ice skating ever! I was nervous one of us would fall and the camera would break or something. It was SO fun though. I was nervous I would fall, but I didn't, and Chris actually ended up falling a couple times.

We were cold after that so we went back and used the pool and hot tub, and then got ready for dinner. We ended up choosing to eat at The Grill at the 1913 Room. The food was amazing, the chef there is really talented.

And then last but not least, our dessert. It was a really unique presentation.

After dinner we chilled in the room for the rest of the evening. It was fun watching the Food Network and just hanging out, sleeping in the next day, and having breakfast in bed.

Oh, and he also gave me some diamond earrings.

How did I almost forget that?!?

It was a really great weekend. I am a lucky girl. <3

Christmas Card Pics

It was a trip trying to get the dogs to cooperate for these. Some of them are seriously hilarious.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love,

The Ostranders

New Years

I am sooooooo happy that we will have short day at work tomorrow (most likely). And sooo happy that I will be O'ing any day, and Chris and I have a nice little 3 day weekend together. Also trying the Sudafed thing this cycle. Who knows, it might work. Stranger things have happened, right?

Also, Christmas was amazing. We seriously have some incredible families! I am hoping to have some time tomorrow to upload our Christmas pics to facebook and then write a Holiday post. I simply cannot believe that it is almost 2010. This year flew by.

I know this is silly of me.

But deep down I was hoping for some sort of Christmas miracle.

I thought it would have been so cool to be able to tell Chris on Christmas morning that I was pregnant, but alas, no.

On to cycle #15.

I started this morning, and the cramps came on around 2:30, which thankfully my boss let us out at 3, bless his heart. So yeah, pretty much my whole night was shot up until now. I still have them but I am forcing myself to get up and get moving, I got presents to wrap and food to make for tomorrow! It is crazy how tired AF can make you though. The past couple nights I have been falling asleep on the couch around 8, then I'll wake up for an hour or so and go back to bed until at least 6:30 am. It feels nice but there is sooo much I should be getting done.

Also, I know I have been quiet on here, but let's face it, I don't have much to write about. Everything is still a waiting game at this point.

I hope everyone has a fabulous Christmas, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Even though I feel disappointed at times, we are so amazingly lucky and blessed. :)

I have been putting this off.

And mostly because we did not really receive good news.
We were hoping Chris would just have an infection or a varicocele, so we could fix the problem and be on our merry way. But they did not find either one of those. What they did find was a epididymal cyst. But according to the urologist, she made it sound like that would not contribute to the fertility issues. She basically told Chris that some guys just have bad sperm, and that he is probably one of those guys and you pretty much just have to deal with it (not in those exact words of course.) She told him that there is still a chance of conceiving naturally because, although a very small amount, there are SOME good sperm. She said we should just keep trying. Some times it just takes people a couple of years, and that we should keep trying for another year. They scheduled appointments in January for him to have blood work done so they can test some other things and his hormones, along with an ultrasound. I love how everything takes a whole month to move on to the next step, it can be so annoying. But the fact of the matter is that this isn't something very serious so they aren't going to rush things, which is fine, that is life. She was also telling him that from comparing his 3 S/A's that she did not think his morphology was that bad, and that his motility was the worse of the two, which is opposite of what my OB told me, so I was trying to explain to Chris that I am taking my OB's stand on this because she is looking at it from a change of conception point of view. Then the urologist proceeded to tell him that we should look into both of us taking sudafed. She said that there was not any substantial evidence that it works, but that many couples have tried it and for some reason it worked for them. I honestly do not think that I need to take, since I am supposedly fine, but Chris going to give it a go this next cycle. I mean why not, what can it hurt I guess.
But from what I read online it basically just helps you get out more semen, which I guess wouldn't be bad if there were some more good ones in there. My friend also told me that they made her husband do this before as well, so I guess this is something they do in the urology world because my doctor was like oh.....ok?

Ok, pause...I am going to apologize for this being so long, but to really know what is going on I have to include all the details.

So here is what we have talked about and decided: Chris will get his testing done, we will keep trying naturally for a while, and then proceed to trying an IUI.

So I called my OB to tell her all of this info. She apologized that they did not find anything concrete and said that it sounds like they are doing the right amount of work up for him for the next steps.
I told her our plan and she said that if we want to try an IUI she would support us in that. She wasn't pessimistic but she was not exactly optimistic either. She basically said that for our situation she would not typically send people down that path to getting an IUI and she still thinks that we should meet with the RE to get their opinion.

Ok, really....here is my question then: If you would NOT suggest our next step to be an IUI, what would it be then?!!! IVF?! Ok, I am certainly well aware that we may have to go down that road, but seriously, we do not have ten grand for one, and two, we are not going there until we have exhausted our other options.

It makes more sense. Chris has probably at least 1 mil. good sperm in there. If we get an IUI she told me that the afternoon I get a positive OPK to call the office, the next morning Chris will give his sample, they will spin them out to get "the best and the brightest" and then put them past my cervix and into my uterus. Now I am well aware that people do this procedure all the time and that there is not a guarantee that it will work, but come on. If it is all of his good sperm, and I am fine....I just don't see how they wouldn't make it to the egg. I guess I am just really hopeful about this. And I do not get why my OB was not. Everyone else I have talked to agreed. Can I get anyone elses opinion here?? I guess our thinking is that we just are not yet ready to move on to all of this other more serious stuff until we have tried for a while longer and tried an IUI or two. If the IUI's do not work then we are definitely going to meet with the RE to see what he tells us.

It is interesting, the doctor we would be seeing is the doctor that my friend Jess from work goes to. I feel so awful for her...her husband had testicular cancer and just had a procedure done this past week where they had to cut out a chunk....ugh...poor guy! But the sperm is on ice, so that is good! They HAVE to do IVF, and they have to do the special IC SI method, which is even more labor intensive. He is going to Iraq soon and she will be implanted right before he is going to come home, I am so super excited for them. She keeps telling me how great the doctor is, so that is good at least.

Oh, and by the way....
One of my best friends, Kerri, whom I work with...she is pregnant.
Yup.

Tomorrow is the big day.

Chris has his appointment tomorrow. We are both anxious to find out what is up with him.
Hopefully the weather does not interfere with his appointment! (We are supposedly having a blizzard tonight.....) Lovely huh? :)
Can't wait for tomorrow!!!!!!!

My First Award!

Thank you Nlvaden!
I know it is silly, but I was pretty excited about this! :)

To accept this award: Post it on your blog together with the name of the Person who granted and his or her link. Pass the Award to 5 other blogs that you newly discovered & remember to contact them and let them know.





So here are my 5 picks:



1. Mrs. G
2. Lilmisa
3. Kismet
4. Jenny
5. A Little Bit Delirious

Hello Cycle #14.

At least I only had cramps for like an hour today, which was a nice change from last cycle.
I am also happy that my cycle was 26 days.
Still just trying to be patient until December 10th gets here.

Not so good news.

:(
I don't want to write this right now.
I am basically just forcing myself because if I don't then I might forget certain details.
I finally called my doctor's office this morning to see if they had gotten Chris' test results back yet and she just finally called me a little while ago.
In her words, " There is definitely a major male factor present here." And this is probably why I am not getting pregnant. His count is phenomenal...350 million this time. But everything else just looks terrible. Less than 5% of them were Grade A swimmers, so he has very poor motility. She says, "In fact, 70% of them were not even swimming at all." They want at least 50% swimming. And as far as the critical morphology which was what they really wanted to look at, only 1% of them were good. And to be considered normal they want at least 14%.

So where do we go from here? She wants to see what the urologist says first. I guess they will be able to tell right away if something is up or not. My OB kept bringing up that maybe he has a Varicocele. And then I remember hearing our family doc. say that maybe it is just an infection or something. I am praying that it is one of the two.
If it is a varicocele then he will have to have an outpatient surgery, and then we will have to wait 3-4 months to try again for the sperm to regenerate.

If they don't see anything wrong with him in the visit then we are being referred to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist). She said that they are just way more thorough and will give us all our options and tell us what the chances are of conceiving.

Then she basically said that at this point an IUI is pointless because although that procedure helps motility, his morphology is bad enough that the sperm would just not be strong enough even if it was put up by the egg or whatever. And then she kept telling me she was sorry and that "Her heart goes out to me."

I am just hoping it is something fixable. I guess we will find out in two weeks.
I still have hope. This is just all very frustrating. And depressing.

Now we wait.

Chris dropped of his S/A a little bit ago.
Something I am not sure I understand......when our family doc. ordered the S/A he just dropped it off at the lab at the hospital. The insurance covered however much and then we would receive a bill for $15. No biggie right?
Well then today at this fertility place where he had to drop it off, they made him pay right up front....I was like Ummm NO, they need to bill the insurance. Then they explained to him that it is $140. Our insurance will cover half, and we need to pay the other $70.
Seventy dollars?!!?!!!
Ugh. This fertility stuff is already getting expensive and we haven't even really dove in yet.
In the end I am just thankful we have insurance. It is just a bummer because that is sort of a lot of money. My OB told me an IUI costs $150. I'm like dang, let's just do it already.

So frustrated!

Today was supposed to be the day that Chris submitted his S/A and then went to see the urologist.
First, last night I get shook awake at 1 am by Chris saying, Hey I can't do that tomorrow. I'm like WHY NOT?! We never read the stupid paper that he is supposed to take with him. You have to call the office 24-48 hours in advance and tell them when you are dropping it off. And then you can only drop it off between 8-8:30 a.m. We just assumed it was like the other place when he did it through our family doctor when you just dropped it off whenever. But nope, not this fertility place. I guess they mean business. Our mistake though...he can still do it next week sometime, so while it's highly annoying, it's not that big of a deal.
Well then I get this call at noon. It's Chris, sounding like death, and complaining about how sick he is and how he can't even move because he is so nauseated. Me, being mean and all was like SUCK IT UP AND GO TO THE DOCTOR!!! And then he threw up and such. I guess he is really sick. I feel bad, but man....I had to call and reschedule his appointment. And now we have to wait another month. I am just disappointed. It is weird though. I guess we just were not supposed to do anything about this this month. So frustrating though. :(

Sometimes you think you are just fine, until......

Until you hear it. Again.
Another person in your life is pregnant.
But I would feel completely different if it was someone else. Maybe if it was someone's first, or someone who had been trying for a while. Or someone like my sister who has been through more pain than any one person should have to endure. But no. Not when it is someone who already has three children. It is so frustrating....why is it so easy for them? Why can't it be easy for us? For my sister? For all of the other women out there who so desperately want nothing more then to have a child? I just do not understand sometimes.
Sidenote here: She is my age (24) and him Chris's age (29). And they are on #4. And we are not yet even pregnant with #1.
I am sorry if this post bothers anyone. I am not trying to be cruel in any way, just venting I guess. Tonight my heart is just hurting.
I know that tomorrow will be a better day.

Friday Fill-In

Stolen from Krisito Torpedo!

1. Plans and schedules keep me busy and organized!

2. I'm happy when things always come together somehow in the end how they were meant to.

3. The last thing I drank was water. Come on people, I'm at work.

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my husband, and the rest of our families. Oh, and friends!

5. I like mushrooms, ham, cheese and peppers (and sometimes pepperoni) on my pizza.

6. Dear November, I can't believe you are here already. Please slow down. Although I love the Holidays and I'm excited for them, they go by way too quickly .

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with Kerri and going shopping, tomorrow my plans include my race in the morning, lunch with my in-laws and dinner and a movie night at home with the hubs and Sunday, I want to sleep in, but we will go to church and then have our small group in the afternoon!

Happy Weekend everyone!

Oh and P.S. I am still waiting to hear back from my doctor, I wish they would call me already!
*edit* She finally called.....but I missed the call because I am at work and my cell was in my purse. From her voicemail she said that everything looked good but she will go over more in detail when we talk, and also she wants Chris to get another S/A after the 8th...moving forward!

Doctor's Appt.

So Thursday I had my yearly doctor's appointment with my OB, and it just happened to be at the end of my 12th cycle, so she was very receptive to speaking to me about what is going on here. She said that she definitely thinks that I will be able to get pregnant, just that we may need some help (duh, obviously!) She concluded this after looking at all of my temping charts that I brought in over the past year. She said she thinks that I am ovulating some months but not necessarily all of them, and that maybe Clomid would help with that. She also wanted me to get my blood drawn so they could run a bunch of tests. One of them was for my Progesterone which she said HAD to be drawn on Day 23 of my cycle (ok, why? I guess I didn't really understand this one, but whatev..she is the doctor), which just happened to be the next day. Which I already had an appt. scheduled at my family doc, and that is where I get my blood drawn because they have a lab there. I just keep thinking, seriously that worked out perfectly and was a coincidence or something. Luckily I do not have to wait a whole other cycle and get my blood drawn again. I cannot remember all the tests that she marked down for my labs, but the ones I remember are my progesterone, testosterone and prolactin levels. Also something for clamydia (I think?) I remember she marked that down when I asked about whether or not my tube/s could be blocked. She was like yeah, this test would show that. But let me just say, I DO NOT have that...so I am not sure what that was about. I know there were like 3 more tests. For some reason I cannot find my yellow carbon copy anywhere today, it seems to have disappeared. I was purposely saving it just for this blog post too...oh well.

So Friday I went in to my doctor on my lunch, and then went over and got my blood drawn. And I must mention, I had the best phlebotomist yet. She was amazing, I didn't even bruise. I am still waiting to hear back from my OB about the results. I sorta had the urge to call there today but I am going to wait another day or two. It's not like I can really do anything this cycle anyways, so what is the rush.
Now, regarding Chris. She thought it was super stupid that the doctor made him get another S/A 14 days later. She said that basically they were testing "the same batch of sperm." According to her, a man regenerates a whole new batch of sperm every two months. So yeah, she said that they should have waited two months to get another test. And also, if they did not test his "Critical Morphology" then the tests were pointless because that is what she needs to know regarding fertility. Basically he is going to have to get another S/A sometime next week, since that will be over two months since the first one.
Well that is all for now, hopefully I will get some news tomorrow!
Oh and I am still having cramps again tonight. I have not had them all day. What the heck?

Ugh.

So I stopped taking my vitex and B-6 before our trip. Also my prenatals. But the truth is that I just did not want to deal with having to take a bunch of pills with me to Europe. One less thing I had to pack. Well when I went to my doctor's appt. on Thursday (which I will update about tomorrow) I realized that I was happy I quit taking them. I got my blood drawn on Friday so they could run a bunch of tests and thinking about it I was happy that my system would be free and clear and doing it's own natural, true to self thing. That way they can figure out what is going on with me, if there is something going on with me at all. So anyways, getting to the point, Aunt Flo finally came today. So on to Cycle #13. Everyone kept saying, "ohhh maybe you will get pregnant in Europe" etc. etc. I figued it wouldn't happen, but sure, I had my hopes up a little. That is ok though. Ok, back to the point, so yeah it came today and man, did it come in full force. I had some serious crampage going on for like 4 hours. Finally I left work and came home. I have never left work because I did not feel well before. But I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't just sit there and not move and be miserable. I have pretty much been laying in bed on the heating pad all day long. Then they came back like two hours ago, that never happens....finally they are gone again though thankfully. And no matter how I feel I HAVE to go back to work tomorrow. Well ever since I have been taking the supplements, I hardly have cramps, let alone a bad period that lasts more than 3-4 days....so the only thing I can think is that it is because I quit taking them. I guess I just did not think that my body would react that quickly. Interesting huh?

We are back.

And our trip was absolutely amazing.
So many stories, so many details, so many pictures, so many memories.
And I really want to update, I really do.
But dang, I am SOO tired!! I need a vacation from my vacation!
And now the hubbs is sick, two days in a row of a 101 F fever. :( Poor baby, I have been waiting on him hand and foot, until I had to come to work today. I hope I do not catch what he has! (And praying that it is not H1N1.)
I am hoping that this tiredness is because I am pregnant, ha ha ha.....maybe the magic of being in Europe worked some kind of miracle.
Thursday I have an appointment with my OB. I am looking forward to it and super nervous at the same time. I need to take in my temping charts and figure out the questions that I want to ask her, and what else I want to talk about. And also explain that Chris already had a S/A. I hope it goes well. That is all for now, I'm too tired to think anymore!

Cycle #12 CD#19

In 24 hours.....

we will be on our way to Chicago, to catch our flight to Europe!
3 nights in Paris. 3 nights in London.
We are super stoked.

I have been wanting to update for a while but work has been super busy. My coworker went on a trip to Peru, and whenever he leaves I have to do all of his application input. This is a huge part of our company, and adds a tremendous amount to my workload depending on the day. So this is why I have been MIA, plus trying to get stuff ready for the trip.

So anyways, I feel like my mind is going in all sorts of different directions. I just want to be prepared and not forget anything! The weather forecast looks perfect. It is supposed to be in the high 50's every day. Perfect Fall weather!

So yeah, I am officially on Cycle #12. In regards to this, I have my yearly check-up after we get back, and will definitely have the "Ok, where do we go from here?" chat. And Chris finally has an appointment with the urologist after I BEGGED him this morning to please call and not wait until after we got back. You never know how long it will take for them to get you in, and low and behold it looks like it won't be until mid-November (which is also part because of his schedule.) I just feel like it will be the end of the year before we know it, which is somewhat frustrating. Oh well I guess, there is nothing we can do that we are not already doing. And I may not be pregnant dangit, but at least I am going to Europe!!!

On a brighter note....it looks like I should be ovulating while we are on our trip!! It should happen somewhere in the last four days or so before we leave. Coincidence??? Maybe....maybe not! ;) I just seriously cannot believe how that worked out? It would be pretty sweet to say I got pregnant while we were there.....

Well, that is all for now. I will update once we return!

Cycle #12
CD #6

Seriously...?

What are you doing body?!?
I normally ALWAYS have cross-hairs by now.



I do not like all this up down up down stuff. I repeat, I do not like it.
Hopefully I O'ed....what do you think???

I am also wondering if this is the affect of having a cold for almost two weeks now. I have been using VICKS Vapor Rub (the grease less cream of course) and taking cough syrup before bed pretty much every night. But then again I thought cough syrup was supposed to help promote better CM and it is weird because I feel like I hardly noticed any at all this cycle!! Which is unusual for me. I am not sure what the heck is going on.....
Also this morning my first temp was 97.57 and the thermometer went off in like less than two minutes (it usually takes like 5 minutes.) So then I took it again right after and it was 98.08. I went with that temp, because I was thinking that maybe the first temp was wrong, my thermometer was FREEZING this morning. It is super cold in our house right now, it got down into the 30's here last night and I am refusing to turn on the heat yet, it is so expensive! But yeah, so I chose the 98.08 over the 97.57. Ok, I am rambling.....that's all for now.

New S/A Results

So, the doc. called yesterday. Finally. At 5:30 pm on a Sunday afternoon. Once again we thought that was pretty funny, but I don't care, I am just happy that he called us!
So after not doing anything for about 14 days the test results were different. The count went up past 200 mil, Chris could not remember exactly what he said, but I guess that was good. The percentages for motility and morphology went up a little, but not much, so I guess he's not quite up to par yet. He told him that he could still drink one caffeinated beverage a day, and up to 3 alcoholic beverages a week, and changing that anymore would not make a difference. I still beg to differ regarding that, but whatev. It's a tough situation too, because anyone who knows my husband knows that he LOVES his coffee, and LOVES his drinks.....we are talking like a beer/wine/liquor connoisseur here people. He could care less about getting drunk. He typically only has one at a time, per day if that. He just genuinely loves it, and it's hard to want to take that away from him, but I can't help it. He is willing to give it up though, but only if the doctor says that is what he is going to have to do.
On a further note, then came the words I had been patiently waiting for and expecting: "I am going to refer you to a Urologist." In a way it stinks, because I feel like we are officially entering into a new journey. The "infertility journey." In another way, I feel fine about all of this, because the situation is not that bad, and there is totally hope. In another way, I am looking forward to his next appointment so we can get some more answers. The doctor said that he thinks it is a possibility that Chris just has some sort of lingering infection and if he got on an antibiotic that it may just clear it up and bam, he would be fine, and so would all his sperm. (I have heard about this before...) I am hoping that is all that this situation is.
That would be AMAZING.

Cycle #11 CD #15

It's been a long two weeks.

I will be very thankful when tomorrow arrives.
In the morning Chris will be submitting sample #2. I feel bad for him. His directions were to -abstain from "doing anything" for 10-14 days.- Well, it's been about 14 days, and I shouldn't be complaining, cause I am sure he is feeling somewhat miserable. Thankfully we have been super busy, and AF was around for the first couple days. I have a good feeling that between holding out for a while, and cutting back on caffeine and alcohol that these results will be a lot better. I am very hopeful and trying to stay positive!

In other news, I have found out about a lot of other people being pregnant. There have been like 6 new additions including some coworkers. But that is ok, hopefully I will be joining them very soon!

My race yesterday went great. I beat my time from last week, and came in 7th place in my division with a time of 26.28 minutes. (37th out of 286 females, 114th out of 391 overall.)

Also, only 23 more days until we are in Paris.
;)
Things are going great, how could I not be happy about life right now?

Cycle #11
CD #8
3-7 days Pre-O

The results are in.

The doctor had called the hubbs two nights ago about the results of his S/A, but he was working so he just left him a message saying that "He needed to talk to him, and that they needed to discuss some things." Naturally I freaked out and was thinking the worst, and then waited all day yesterday and FINALLY he called us back at 9 pm last night. Yeah, weird I know. We thought that was a little late too, but whatev, I was just happy that he called and I didn't have to wait another day to find out what was going on.

So here is what is up: His count was good. 180 million. Seems like a TON but we will take it, we need all we can get. The problems are that only 40% of them are normal and then other 60% either have head or tail abnormalities. The doctor also thought it was a little weird because the consistency was a little thicker than normal, which Chris thinks that maybe it was because he was dehydrated? Also there was only 30% motility which he said was not good at all, they normally want at least 60% motility. So bascially the other 70% were not moving at all and not alive. NOT cool little swimmers...NOT cool.....
So, the doc. told him to cut back to only one caffienated beverage a day (we don't drink soda at all, but he does like his coffee.....) and only 3 or less alcoholic beverages a week. And then in another 10-14 days after abstaining they are going to do another test.
SO....now we wait some more. I am hoping that the next test results are better and produce higher motility and less abnormalities. And that is that. At least we have some answers now......

Lots of stuff going on.

Things are super busy as always. Right now I love it though.
We are coming into our favorite time of year: The Fall and the Holiday Seasons.
I am trying to cherish every minute of every. single. day. I love the weather, the atmosphere, the smells....I bought a bag of apples at the store the other day and they seriously just smell SO good. Every time I go into the kitchen I cannot help but to smell them. Chris and I keep discussing how sometime soon we cannot wait to get some apple cider and sugar-covered or pumpkin donuts. We always heat it up in a saucepan on the stove and Chris always "spices" it up. Literally. Cinnamon...nutmeg...and topped off with just a little brandy. We are going to wait until it gets a little bit cooler outside for that though. I think it probably won't be too long...we got a nice glimpse of that cool weather last week. I think it will return the beginning of October, just a guess.

Chris is doing his internship right now and so far it seems to be going really well. I am happy that he loves it and is passionate about helping people. I know he will do really great at it. Besides the long hours and lack of sleep, he is handling it well and so far not seeing each other much has not been too much of a strain on our relationship. In March we will have been married for 4 years. As time goes on I notice that we have better communication, and work more as a team, which in turn makes getting things done around the house and coordinating our schedules much much easier. I am thankful for him, he is such a great husband.

Since it seems I have a lot more free time during the week while Chris is gone I have been doing a lot to keep myself busy. I have a few 5K's and bike events coming up soon that I have been training for. I am pretty proud of myself, I have never been able to run 3-4 miles without stopping and now it is almost effortless. Of course some days are harder than others, but it is going great. I am also trying to bike to work every morning that I can, as long as it is not raining. I love it! I have gotten an opportunity to spend evenings with friends and catch up. I am much more willing to clean, prepare meals and keep up the laundry while Chris is at work. I blame on the fact that handsome face and charm are not there to distract me. I am also looking forward to all of the new season shows that start this week for the Fall line-up.

I am looking forward to this weekend!! Saturday morning is my first 5K. I am doing the Quest for the Cure...and I am pretty excited and nervous at the same time. That afternoon we are setting a monument, and then in the evening go to the football at Grand Valley because they play SVSU. I think it is going to be a lot of fun, and I always love it when we get to hang out with friends and family.
All in all I am really looking forward to this season, and feel so thankful and blessed.

If you think about it...

say a little prayer for us today.
Chris submitted his S/A this morning! Our family doc. thought it wouldn't hurt just to check things out. I am doing pretty good at trying to stay and think positive but every now and then a bad thought will sneak into my mind. I hate that.
I am pretty eager to hear the results and hoping that we get them back by the end of the week.
All I know is that until then I am going to try not to think about it, although it will probably be on my mind a lot. We will see I guess! Either way, I am excited to be getting this done and over with. It will be one less thing to be wondering about all the time.

Cycle #10
CD #21
7 dpo

-Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Touching Story

If you have a minute, please check out this blog: http://mkwiersma.blogspot.com/

This poor family has been through so much. And talk about a small world. I initially heard about them through a coworker a couple weeks ago. Then today I was talking with another coworker about running and she told me how there is a 5K that I should do in a couple weeks as a fundraiser for this family, and it turned out to be the same one! I was looking through the brochure and decided to look at their blog and realized that I had read it before. A bunch of us in the office decided that we were going to do this 5K and then the word got out. It turns out a bunch of other people in the office know the family as well, but didn't know about the others who knew them. Such a small world.....

Anyways, back to the Wiersma family. Kate ended up going into labor sometime between 21-22 weeks. The doctors tried to stop it but after being on the meds for a while I guess she got very ill and then they didn't know if she would even make it. They ended up delivering the babies after 23 weeks. Maxwell and Wesley have several medical issues, and are still in the NICU at Spectrum Health. Three weeks after they were born Kate's mother passed away. I do not know many details but she had some sort of cancer. Shortly after that, Kate's father lost his job, and now Kate and Mark are possibly losing their house. It is such a sad story, I guess it just really gets to me. All they wanted was to have children and become a family. Twins...what a joy! And now all of this has happened, my heart just really goes out to them. It just goes to show that you never know what will happen with a pregnancy, and now they are going to have so many doctors bills (especially since there are two babies.) I just could not imagine. They pretty much need any sort of financial help that they can get.

To help them out, we are running in the 2nd Annual Quest for the Cure. It is on Saturday, September 12, 2009. If anyone would like to make a donation, or pledge for my run, that would be amazing! You can also donate online at: www.quest4cure.org. I know that my small contribution will probably not make that huge of an impact on their lives, but every little bit helps.

Nothing too much new.

I am on CD 9 today, so I should ovulate within the next 4 days sometime. Of course we have a crazy busy weekend ahead of us!

This afternoon I get to have surgery on my mouth, awesome huh? I have some random something or another (hopefully a tooth) coming down out of the top of my mouth behind my front teeth, and when I got my teeth cleaned at the beginning of the month they said that they wanted to extract it asap. So I have the rest of the afternoon off and tomorrow off of work, and I am planning on not doing too much hopefully. I am super excited to sleep in tomorrow.
Chris works tomorrow morning and then we are heading home for the weekend for a friend's wedding. Saturday I have to be up bright and early to do the bride's hair and makeup. Yeah, smart on my part to schedule this appointment today right before this wedding, I totally WAS NOT thinking. Duh.
We are still unsure of whether or not we will drive home after the reception (which is likely) or just stay another night and come home Sunday morning sometime. I just wish we didn't live 2.5 hours away.
Anyways, the point is that my mouth is really going to be sore, we have to do a bunch of driving, I have to get up super early Sat. morn, we will both be all tired I am sure........I just can't see a lot of TTC happening this cycle! I guess we will have to just try and work it in somehow! :)

One Month Ago Today

Pat and Megan lost their sweet baby boy.
We all miss you little Liam.
<3

And Again.

Cycle #10.
CD #1.

Wondering what is going on with our bodies?

Ayden Michael-Edward LaFave

Ayden was born August 10th at 10:32 pm (11:32 pm our time) weighing in at 7 lbs. 5 oz. and 19.5 inches long. He is my new little nephew born to my little brother Joe and fiance Tiffany.



He is a cutie, no?
The problem is that they live in Kansas, and I have no vaca time left this year. It would probably be about a 12 hour drive from Michigan to there. I am trying to figure out how I could utilize a 3-day weekend coming up here soon over Labor Day so I could go and visit. We will see I guess! I really want to meet my nephew, it kills me that I couldn't be there at the hospital. Hopefully I will get to see him soon!

Babies Galore

Congratulations Todd and Shauna! (Chris's sister)



Rowan Julia was born at 4:18 am yesterday morning (08/09/2009). She was 8 pounds 8 ounces and 20-3/4 inches long.

Also, my little brother Joe just called me to tell me that his fiance Tiffany's water broke. They are having a little boy and naming him Ayden. I am betting that it will happen tonight some time.
A niece and a nephew within two days.
This is just craziness!! :)

Twiddling my thumbs.

Cycle #9.
Day #18.
5 dpo.

Waiting patiently.

Liam Charles Kelly

Liam Charles Kelly, infant son of Patrick and Megan went to be in the arms of Jesus on July 23, 2009.


I have been wanting to post about this for a while now. It is just such a heavy topic, that I wanted to wait. I wanted to think about everything that has happened in the past couple weeks, the past couple months. It is been indescribably saddening, and emotionally draining.

I cannot even begin to understand what it would be like to lose a child, and I am sure that my words here will not remotely come close to the pain and heartache that my sister and husband have had to deal with over the past two weeks, since Liam was born still. Liam was a fighter, and his precious little heart remained beating for quite some time up until the birth. Megan had gone into the hospital two days before, because her placenta was starting to tear away. Ironic considering that it had absolutely nothing to do with Liam's heart condition and his hydrops. When they got to the hospital, they were surprised to learn that Liam was still alive, and everyone was so thankful and continued to pray. She kept having contractions until Thursday when she finally gave birth at 29 weeks. The doctors from Ann Arbor had told the doctor in Saginaw that they believed that there was a 100% chance that there was no way that he was going to make it. It was the worst news possible. There are so many questions here. It just doesn't make sense. Why would God let this happen? Has he not heard our prays for the last several months? Why Liam, just a small, precious innocent baby? Also, Liam was born a short seven days after Nataleigh. It is best said when asked, how do you feel so much sorrow, and so much joy in your heart, all at the same time? We will never really understand why all of this happened. But God is glorified in all things, and everything happens according to his will and purpose. His timing is perfect. Sometimes it is hard to remember those things, especially in the middle of our angst and confusion.

On Monday, July 27th 2009, a memorial was held. The service was beautiful. Some friends sang a couple of songs and touched everyone's hearts deeply. I believe it truly was a day that friends and family will never forget.

Hopefully time will heal the hurt, the pain, and the suffering. Liam Charles will always be loved, and hold a place in our hearts forever.

In loving memory of Liam Charles Kelly, who entered into eternal life with our Savior on July 23, 2009. May he never be forgotten.

Introducing the adorable Nataleigh Grace.

Isn't she lovely?

Thursday late morning we got the call that it was official, my sister-in-law Emileigh's water had broke. I could barely wait to get out of work at 4 pm to get home, pack my bag and make the drive down to the hospital.
Emileigh's labor was relatively quick it seemed. Her water had broke around 8 am. They went to the hospital and had the pitocin started around 4ish. When I got there around 7 pm she seemed to be doing OK, she was having some contractions and they hadn't checked her yet so she had no idea how far she was dilated. Within like half an hour the contractions got a lot worse and she was in a lot of pain. Soon after that my brother Nathan and her decided that she would try some Demerol to help take the edge off the pain, so they gave her that mixed with Phenergan. Their original birth plan was that they were going to try to do the labor as natural as possible. I think it was around like 8:45 pm when she decided that she really wanted to have the epidural. The anesthesiologist was called, but a couple minutes later we were all standing around and all of a sudden Emileigh was like "I feel like I need to push!" I remember for a moment it was like we all just sort of looked at eachother like oh my gosh, this could be it! Sure enough, when the nurses came running in and checked her she was at 1o cm, and there was no time for the epi. I was proud of her, she gave birth with out the epidural! I know that it was probably not very easy, and afterward she said that it was the worst pain that she has ever experienced. She also had a 3rd degree tear down to the muscle.
It was a pretty exciting and eventful evening. Even though I wasn't able to be in the delivery room when she was born, it was special enough just to be outside the door. It was definitely an experience that I will never forget.

Nataleigh was born at 9:37 pm, weighing in at 5 lbs. 13 oz. and 18 inches long. She was 3 weeks and 2 days early.

Nathan, Emileigh, and baby girl Nataleigh Grace (Notice how it's a combo of their names? Kinda cool, huh?) I also thought that Emileigh looked pretty darn good afterward, she doesn't even look like she just had a baby, haha!



Group Photo



We finally got to hold her the next day!





Niece Nataleigh and Nephew Samuel...what a difference 3 years can make in size!



And last but not least, another picture of precious Nataleigh sleeping. She is so cute and so little....such a little peanut!

Mixed Emotions.

I don't even know how to feel right now. I just keep praying, please Lord, be with my family.

My sister Megan had another appointment in Ann Arbor yesterday. This is an excerpt taken from her blog:

Our baby has developed more fluid, now all over---called hydrops. His mitral valve has a more severe leak than last month. I am just coming up to 28 weeks and they don't think that they can help him until he is at least 32 weeks. The odds are really against him. They told me that there is a great chance of him passing away soon. If we delivered him now, I would probably have to have a classical c-section. This would put me at risk in future pregnancies. Anyways, we talked with the doctors and weighed out the risks and benefits. For now, we will keep him inside of me and hope for a miracle. My motherly instincts want to do everything I can to see him survive.

My heart is breaking for them. I wish I could do something to help, I think everyone does. You just feel helpless in this situation and wait and pray, and hope that God will have mercy and intervene somehow.

In other news, my sister-in-law Emileigh is in labor. (This is our brother's wife.) I saw on Facebook this morning that she thought she was losing her mucous plug. I called them right away and she told me it seemed like she kept leaking more and more fluid. I was like ummm...it sounds like your water broke! So they went and got checked out and sure enough, it did. The last call I received was that they were at the hospital, her contractions were 8 minutes apart and they were putting in her IV. I am driving there today as soon as I get out of work and get a bag packed. Not sure if I will stay the night yet or not, since I have to work in the morning. I can't wait to see my family. I missed our nephew Sam being born so I want to be there for this. It is all very exciting.

Like I said, mixed emotions. I don't know how to feel.
One moment I am so extremely happy and excited and the next moment I think about baby Kelly and my heart is breaking.
Please keep our family in your thoughts in prayers.

Another One.

Ok, now I know that I have talked about this before. I know so many people who are pregnant right now. But seriously, I don't think you people believe me.

I just found out that my co-worker Jill is pregnant. I am so happy and excited for her! But it is still hard. Especially since she like just started working here and they were just not using any protection but not trying either. There is also another girl here who is going to start trying, and another who is going to try soon but temping to not get pregnant, for the time being. They say everything comes in 3's right?! I am hoping that Jill triggers it! The other girl who is about to start trying also mentioned that to me this morning. I was like amen sister!

So here is a list of all the people I know who are currently pregnant. Just so you can see for yourself. (And also some people who just had their babies.)

Just had a baby:
-my pastor's wife (a girl, Violet)
-Chris's cousin Derek (boy, Noah)

Going to be born any day:
-my SIL, brother Nate's wife (girl, Nataleigh--they think, but not for sure)
-my SIL, husband Chris' sister (girl, Rowan)
-my SIL-to-be, brother Joe's fiance (boy, Ayden)

-my sister Megan (boy, due in Oct.)
-Chris' cousin Tim's wife Megan (don't know details yet)
-Chris' cousin Erica (just found out a couple weeks ago)

A couple different friends/aquaintences:
-Megan N. (girl, Raegan, due in Nov.)
-Kelly (girl, Chloe, due in Sept.)
-Miriam from church (just found out)

People I work with:
-coworker Jill (just found out)
-coworker Matt's wife
-coworker Neven's wife

Internet Friends:
-Megan N (already mentioned above)
-Jessica aka JLT (due in Feb.)
-Nikki aka Nlvaden (due in Feb.)

Yeah, I know. I told you.

I think there are others. I just cannot remember them right now. Too many pregnant people to cloud up my mind....haha. It is insane.

I love it though.
I just want to join them.

Tick Tock

I *think* I ovulated. (My chart is a little weird this cycle, so we will see.)
I think our timing was perfect.
We used the Preseed, and actually liked it. I didn't think we would.
TCOYF says in the book that you should lay down and not move for at least 30 minutes afterward. -Check!
Also, praying like crazy.

Chris actually said to me a couple days ago: "If we don't get pregnant this cycle, I am going to be so surprised..."
Ditto hubby. Ditto.

And now we wait.

Yipppeeeee

I am about to O any day. My temp dropped again this morning (lower than I've ever seen it) which to me means it's going up from here. Hopefully I get a + OPK when I get home from work. All other signs are present to indicate this and we are ready, Preseed and all!!

Please Lord, we are praying that this month is the month.

Next month in August Chris starts his internship. He will be at the hospital working anywhere from 60-70 hours per week. 2-3 days out of the week he will have to be there from 8 am to 12:30 am. Literally those days, I will not see him. I hate this and it breaks my heart, but he will be done with his BSW in January, so it is a good thing all and all, and I am sure time will fly by quickly. The following days he will most likely be scheduled from noon to 8:30 pm, since he won't even get home until 1 am the night before. Since I work a typical 8-5 gig, our schedules will not match at all and we aren't going to be seeing much of one another. Needless to say, this is going to put a bit of a damper on our so-called "baby making" schedule. It's going to be a little hard to try to make things happen around the time I am fertile, and also Chris is going to be pretty exhausted all the time. I can't just expect him to get home at 9 pm straight out of work on the days he only has to work one shift, and be like Ok honey let's go because I need to get to sleep! Things just don't work that way. I feel bad for him. He is getting excited though, and cannot wait to be done with school.
I guess in ending this post I am just super hopeful. The rest of this year is going to be busy, crazy, stressful....and we would LOVE to be pregnant. That way we can stop trying so hard, and Chris can focus on finishing up school.

Cycle Number Eight.

Well we have officially been trying to conceive for 7 months and 8 cycles now. Although I have my moments of frustration, I am trying to remain patient, positive and hopeful. I know that my time will come eventually, and it will be amazing. Even though I am once again on my period (CD 4), I am thankful for a 26 and a half day cycle. I give credit to the B6 and Vitex that I have been taking for the past two cycles. This month we are going to try something a little different....I broke down and ordered some Preseed. Some of the testimonies I have read about this product are amazing...and my friend Megan swears by it as well, she got pregnant on the first cycle she used it! Yes I realize this could have just been a coincidence, but it gives me some hope, haha. I guess I just don't really notice any substantial amount of EWCM for any long period of time, and for my age I should have a good amount. I honestly probably notice it one time, during one day of my fertile period. Hopefully it will work, that would be amazing!
This week at work we have Friday off because of July 4th. I am looking forward to a nice, long, relaxing three day weekend. And then next week I will be O'ing again. I don't know, I just feel good about this month. Maybe the Preseed is just making me excited. I am still waiting to get it in the mail. I hope it comes by tomorrow, it is making me anxious!
Oh yes, and I almost forgot. We just found out about two more people that are pregnant...one in the family and one acquaintance. Everyone is pregnant I swear!!!

Update on Baby Kelly

So yesterday afternoon my sister Megan and her husband Pat had another appointment at U of M in Ann Arbor. I am thankful for the amazing doctors there and their knowledge. If only they could perform miracles....the news they received at this appointment was not necessarily the best. It's hard to accept the truth, although I know that God has a perfect plan for our lives. You can read their latest update here: http://patmegkelly.blogspot.com/
Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Busy busy and a BIG announcement.

So like I am always saying, things have been super busy. Memorial Day weekend we had a get together or BBQ every day. The housework, the yard work, the laundry...it never seems to be done. Work has been busy, and then this past weekend my friend got married and I was in her wedding! It was a really great, fun weekend but we were all over the place. And this always includes a lot of driving. Hopefully I will get some time to post some pictures. I often wonder with our busy lives...how would we be able to ever throw a child into this mix? I guess that is just how it is and you work it out when the time comes.

But anyways....the real reason I wanted to post...

We are going to Europe!!
Chris is so excited. I have never seen him get so excited...it was hilarious, when we were booking the trip that is. He loves to travel, and he is constantly talking about going to Europe. So we found a great deal and figured why not?? We might as well do it now, while we can, and while it's cheap! And I'm not getting pregnant (obviously..haha) so we figured now would be a good time to go, before we have kids. We did not think that this trip would be financially possible for a long time, and now it is, so we are totally going for it. So in October we are flying to Paris ( I have a slight obsession with the Eiffel Tower so I'm pretty stoked about this myself). We are staying there for 3 nights, and then flying to London, and staying there for 3 nights. It will be an 8 day vacation all together. I have also had a little obsession with England ever since I saw the movie "The Holiday". And supposedly their maternity benefits are amazing. Well after that I always told Chris that if he ever wanted to move there I TOTALLY would, haha. I guess I will make a more educated opinion about that after I've actually been there. Either way we are super excited and cannot wait. And now I am off to Google and Amazon to see if I can find "used" Rosetta Stone for cheap. To learn some French of course. :o)

Le Sigh.

It is currently CD 2, Cycle #7.

I have been struggling with some serious anxiety issues lately. I am hoping that it is just the after effects of a couple stressful weeks and goes away soon. I know that God is the only one who can pull me out of this funk. It's just hard to relax and be patient sometimes. I also know that I need to stop trying to control everything 24/7. It's definitely not helping the situation any. I honestly think that this is why my stomach has been messed up, and also I am wondering if this could be part of the reason why I am not getting pregnant? How can you get pregnant if your body is super stressed out all the time and can't relax?

Awesome Verse

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Ephesians 3:16-19 (New Living Translation)

Couple of things..

Update on my sister Megan:
Last week on Friday they saw a specialist and confirmed that there was in fact an issue with the baby's heart. They found out that their baby boy has Hypoplastic Right Heart Syndrome. For more of an update, read on here. They are so positive, optimistic and full of faith. It is truly an inspiration. Today they had a couple of appointments, and I pray they all went well and received some more helpful information.

Nothing else too new here. I am continuing to chart my temps to make sure that I am O'ing. Things are way better this time around, since I am not stressed out about getting pregnant now. It will happen when it is supposed to. I have also been taking vitex, which is a vitamin herb supplement. It is supposed to help all around with fertility. I am hoping that it will make my cycles a little longer, but I think that it will be longer this month anyways. I have noticed a pattern. When my period is only like 2-3 days, I have a short cycle, and when it's like 5-6, I have a longer cycle. So this month I am expecting it to be longer.
In other news, the weather here has been amazing! It is getting up into the 80's. I love it!

Not quite sure how to put this all into words...

My sister Megan and her husband found out that they are having a boy! This is exciting, since she thought that was what the baby was since the beginning, but then since the week 12 ultrasound they thought it was a girl for some reason, according to what the nurse said by the pictures. She is about 18 weeks along now.

Please pray for them, if you are reading this.
It looks like something is wrong with his heart. It was all sort of a blur when we talked on the phone on Monday, but it seems that the left atrium is larger and they have to go and see a specialist on Friday. This could mean a number of different things.

I love my sister. She is one of the most amazing people I know, along with her husband. They are truly incredible people and are going to make terrific parents. It's frustrating because while I know that God always has a plan and would never give us more than we can handle, I just don't want them to have to go through this. They have already been through a hard struggle the past couple of years. (Refer here: http://anne-livingandloving.blogspot.com/2007/10/update.html)
Then she had to have surgery and wait an entire year to start TTC again.

I am trying to be optimistic and praying that hopefully this is something minor, or something that can be fixed...praying for healing, and praying for a miracle.

Despite this sad news, I am still in awe of the fact that by late summer/early fall I will officially be the Auntie Anne of two new nieces and two new nephews. How awesome.
God is good.

Hello CD 1.

And onto to Cycle #6 we go.

The only thing bothering me right now besides my cramps and Aunt Flo is that my cycle was only 24 days this time, and according to my ovulation day on fertility friend, my luteal phase was only 9 days. Seriously that is too short as far as I am concerned!! I am wondering if it has something to do with hormone levels...but I have not researched this enough so I don't want to jump to any sort of conclusions.

**runs off to go find info on google**

Nothing new here....

I am in the two week wait, and I charted again this month to make sure that I am ovulating. I quit charting before because it was seriously stressing me out. I have been trying to have a better attitude about not getting pregnant yet, trying not to care so much this month, and remember that it will happen in God's right timing. It has actually worked...I have not been stressed out about it at all! It has been interesting to see my temperatures. They are allll over the place. Granted I have not been very anal about taking them at the exact same time every day like I was before. I guess we will see what happens...I am interested to see exactly which day I will start my period, because right now it's saying that I didn't ovulate until day 15, which is kinda late for me. So I am wondering how long my luteal phase will be, and when I will start my period. I am pretty sure it's coming because my temps dropped like crazy over the past three days, which is odd too because according to FF I am only 7 dpo, and compared to other charts they typically don't drop until like 10 dpo...another reason why I think my estimated O date is "wrong." Another reason I want to make sure I keep charting is because if I eventually have to go to my doc, she wanted to see my charts. Just in case I suppose. Oh well...just thoughts for now. Like I said, nothing too new! I am excited for summer and what it may bring. The weather has been awesome the past couple days. I love Michigan summers!

I am super stoked.

I just spent like 400 of my coke rewards points on magazines.

(Yes I know, I'm a nerd, I do coke reward points.)
The funny thing is, we don't even drink soda.
A couple of years ago my friend and her husband thought it would be funny to start collecting them for me as well after I started collecting them at my old job. Now I have bags of them in a closet at home. It's ridiculous really.

Well today I had some free time at work and put in 120 points worth (that is all they will allow in a week time period.) And then I spent them all.

Sometime within 4-6 weeks we will start receiving our one-year subscriptions to:

Better Homes and Gardens
and
Entertainment Weekly

Woo hoo! I can't wait!

'09 Baby #1 Of Many

As I've said in a previous post, we have a lot babies gracing us with their precious little presence this year.

Two Sundays ago I attended shower #1 of many for baby Noah. This little guy is Chris's cousin Derek's little boy. Amber had her "membranes stripped" the previous Tuesday and was having contractions that afternoon. We thought for sure he would be born anytime soon.

Derek and Amber


Opening Presents


Celebration Cake!



Finally, a week and a half later, baby Noah makes his appearance!
He was born on Tuesday, April 28th at 5:32 pm. He was 6 lbs. 10 oz. and 20 inches long.

I thought this hat was so cute, I loved it!


Noah Robert Paul S.



Noah and I


Derek and Noah



And I saved the cutest and best for last....he was holding his own pacifier, it was so cute!





At this facility they also put a monitor around the baby's leg so that no one could "steal him". I thought that that was interesting, I have never seen that before.

Well I can't wait to see how this little guy grows over the next coming months! It is awesome to have a new baby in the family. It's an exciting way to start the summer!

Our Family Is Growing

Yep it is true.

Many who know us already know this, but we love animals, dogs in particular. Especially my husband, I have never seen someone who loves animals so much. So naturally, after we bought our house we invested in our first furbaby, Niles. (Yes, his name is after the show Frasier, Chris LOVES that show.)

I know...cutest puppy ever, right? We got him at 6 weeks old, he was so tiny!





He has not been what I call a cheap investment, but it has been worth it. I have never seen an animal love two people more unconditionally. Even if we are mad at him, he forgets about it and still loves us the same. But yeah, the first couple years are rough. Between the vet visits for vaccines, and the neutering, and the heart worm meds and food and toys...wowza.



Totally worth it though. Not to mention he listens very well, and we can trust him. He is a great dog. Boxers are great dogs in genenal as they are incredibly smart, and good with children, which was a MUST for me. I love the fact that I can put my hand in his mouth, play with his face and do whatever else...and know that he would never bite me.

Well a couple weeks ago an aquaintence of mine casually asked me if we knew anyone who would want a boxer, or if we would want another. I was like uhh...maybe? We had toyed around the idea of getting another so that Niles would have a little friend to play with. We decided we would go and have a look at him and see if him and Niles would get along. Of course they played like crazy and we thought he was a really nice dog. We agreed that that weekend he could come and stay with us and we would see how it would go. Needless to say, he has been with us ever since. I felt bad for the family that had to give him away, but all they cared about was that he went to a great home. And the best part was that they gave us everything... EVERYTHING for FREE! They gave us the dog, his huge crate, his bed and toys, food, rawhides, bones...everything. We just couldn't pass this up, and we felt bad for him.

So...introducing...Siggy! (Chris wanted to change his name to Frasier..haha...I'm like seriously? We cannot do that to a two year old dog. That is just mean.) And yes, he is giving you the side-eye.



If I thought Niles was lovable...I was sooo incredibly wrong. Niles is more the type of dog that wants to play 24/7. Siggy on the other hang...he just wants your lovin. He would be totally content to just sit by you and let you pet him all day long. He is such a sweetheart.

And the best part is, him and Niles are best buds. It is hilarious. They are so cute!





Yeah, I even caught them snuggling on Nile's bed together. It's official, they are cuddle buddies.



Sooo cute. I love it.

Here we go again.

Today is officially Day #1, of Cycle #5.
Wowza.
Never thought I'd be typing that, that is for sure.
But, it's Ok. The more time I have had to think about it, the more OK I am with it.

We have a lot that we wanted to accomplish this year and so far it's going great. In a couple weeks we will be completely out of debt except for our mortgage and school loans (which I think is OK debt to have.) Our upstairs will be completed by the end of summer. Chris will be done with school in January (except for his Masters, but this is still a huge step in our future). This gives us more time to perhaps do some other things with our money, like maybe get our mattress the beautiful bed I've been wanting for a couple years now, accompanied by a dresser. I am tired of having our mattresses on the floor and my closet just isn't holding everything anymore. Plus a bedroom set will look fab in our new upstairs master bedroom when it's finished, we are so excited! Also hoping to get Central Air put in by next summer. We can suffer through one more summer without it.

So on to other big news, and things we can definitely celebrate. I've been wanting to write about this for a while but was waiting until I had the OK to mention everyone. Besides the fact that I am not getting pregnant, this is totally the year for babies in my family! At least I will get to enjoy everyone else's little ones at Christmas this year. =) There are four people in our immediate family alone... :

-Chris's sister Shauna is due with a little girl on August 6th. They are EXTREMELY happy as this will be their last baby....and they already have 3 boys.

-My sister-in-law Emileigh (adopted brother Nate's wife) is having a little girl and they are due August 8th. This is also their one year wedding anniversary.

-My little brother Joe's fiance Tiffany is due August 25th. They are having a boy, Aidan.

That is three people in August alone!!!

-Then there is my sister Megan. She is due October 9th, and they do not know what they are having yet (obviously because they are not far enough along).

-Also two of Chris's cousins girlfriends/wives are pregnant. Along with various other friends/acquaintances etc.

Needless to say I have a lot of showers to attend over the next couple of months! It is very exciting!

I swear, the oatmeal creme pie was calling my name.

Ok, so I have a huge lack of motivation and have been eating like crap lately. (This is so NOT cool, I am supposed to be training for a 5k?!?!!)

I blame it on the fact that I am like 99% sure I should be starting my period this weekend and also a little on depression.

I know for a fact I am at least 10 days past ovulation today. I actually took my temp this morning when I woke up, just out of curiosity and it was pretty low. I also tested and got a BFN (big fat negative). I know that people say it's not over until Aunt Flow shows but I know my body. And she is coming.

It was a rough morning. I started to cry sporadically a couple times, out of nowhere. In front of a someone at one point too and dang that is embarrassing. It's like hello, emotional meltdown anyone? It sucks because every month I think it will be different and I will able to handle being let down if need be, and every month I continue to prove myself wrong.
Why is this so damn hard? Trying to conceive has sucked a lot of happiness and joy out of my life the past four months and dammit I want it back. Sex is supposed to be fun.

Well our Managing Partner's Assistant emailed everyone earlier to let us know that we get to leave the office early tomorrow at 3 pm. I was like sweet, best news I've heard all day. Also, I'm getting my hair done Saturday morning. And I'm actually going to a salon. I am super excited, I haven't done this in forever. I am tired of having my friend do it at her apartment, yes it is cheap, but not always convenient. I am looking forward to the start of my weekend (minus my period).

Blog Slacker

That is me.

I have wanted to post but things have been busy, and I usually try to post at work sometimes when I am slow, but we have been super busy here as well!

There have been a lot of things that I have wanted to write about on and off, but also nothing too exciting has been happening, so I haven't been.
Regarding my doctor's appointment...my ultrasound came back completely normal. Then they wanted to do blood work. That also came back completely normal. Both good news for sure, but still doesn't pinpoint what was wrong with me. They put me on a 24 hour clear liquid diet. That was a lot of fun. Let's face it, I love to eat, and drinking liquids for an entire day just isn't my style. But I sucked it up and once it was over had a yummy dinner. Anyways ever since then I have been on Prilosec and Zantac. They seem to help I guess, I haven't had any issues ever since, so that is terrific. I am just wondering if this is something that I will have to take forever? Who knows...once my script runs out I will def. by calling and asking some more questions. We will see how it goes I guess.
He said at my first appointment that if it wasn't my gallbladder that he thought it was gastritis. I looked in up online and pretty much sounds like exactly what I was dealing with, the only thing that I could figure out what it may have been brought on by was stress.
Yep, stress.
Stress about TTC maybe?? Hmm....
So this month, I have been trying not to think about it too much. I have been working out normally again, which has been awesome. I have even been training to run in my first marathon. That has really taken my mind off of things. It will be the Fifth/Third River Bank Run in May. I am still debating whether or not it will happen depending on if I was to get pregnant before then. I am only doing the 5K so the training isn't too vigorous. I hate running. But this has been forcing me to do it, and I always feel so good afterward. The training schedule even allows days where you are either off, or just walking for like 25-35 minutes. So easy, I can do that! Usually on those days I will try to do a spin class though.
Also, no temping again, and no ovulation sticks. I know I am O'ing, we are doing what we need to do, so it will happen when it happens I guess.

So right now we are on Cycle #4. Another reason I have not been posting is because we are just in the same situation as the past couple months. Nothing has happened thus far, and I don't want to keep writing posts about when I start my period and how I'm emotionally distraught for a short time. It's just not fun reading. :)

And I am in the two week wait again. Honestly, as awkward as this may sound, I feel different this month. It almost scares me to say it. I am hopeful. It's like I just have this feeling, and wouldn't it be so typical? I was talking about this with my sister last night. Because in the past I made so many statements about how I just so badly wanted a baby in the Fall and how if it came to having one around Christmastime I wouldn't focus too much on that. I just really didn't want another December birthday to worry about, and it's too close to Christmas. But now I realize that that is just asinine. Not to mention that IT'S NOT IN MY CONTROL. But let's get serious here. Are we really going to skip a month because of a Holiday. Ummm...absolutely not. And especially not after trying the past couple months. But here's the thing...I will never live that down if it happens. And it was stupid to ever say anything of that sort. Like I said...things are getting interesting. I am trying not to think about things to much, not to get my hopes up. But it's too darn hard not to.