Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sometimes you think you are just fine, until......

Until you hear it. Again.
Another person in your life is pregnant.
But I would feel completely different if it was someone else. Maybe if it was someone's first, or someone who had been trying for a while. Or someone like my sister who has been through more pain than any one person should have to endure. But no. Not when it is someone who already has three children. It is so frustrating....why is it so easy for them? Why can't it be easy for us? For my sister? For all of the other women out there who so desperately want nothing more then to have a child? I just do not understand sometimes.
Sidenote here: She is my age (24) and him Chris's age (29). And they are on #4. And we are not yet even pregnant with #1.
I am sorry if this post bothers anyone. I am not trying to be cruel in any way, just venting I guess. Tonight my heart is just hurting.
I know that tomorrow will be a better day.

8 comments:

Patrick and Megan said...

I'm sorry Anne. And they probably were able to announce it to the world on facebook at 4 weeks along! Yeah, that's frustrating!! I didn't realize that she was only 24! Is she having a baby a year or what?! When your times comes it will be so much more special for you...everything you are going through is making you the person God wants you to be!

Jessica said...

I am so incredibly sorry. I remember that feeling so well. And oddly enough, I still feel that way sometimes. I don't think the hurt of IF ever really leaves you, but you know what? It will make you appreciate it so much more when it does happen to you- truly.

Anne said...

Yes Megan, that is how I found out!! Her FB status said "On to number Four." I was like...seriously?? Don't get me wrong, of course I want to be happy for them. I know I am just feeling somewhat jealous and a little bitter. I hate feeling that way. I just kept thinking of you...yep, it must be nice to be able to announce it to the world that way and not have a care in the world. And yeah, pretty much a baby a year.....
But you are both right, when it does happen, we are going to appreciate it so much. Our children will be so loved they won't even know what hit them. And it will be so incredibly special. I just need to be more patient!

Lisa M. said...

Anne, it will happen when it is meant to happen. You need to remember you still have plenty of time and the obstacles that are in your way so far seem to be minor. And maybe God will bless you with a content, happy baby to offset the pain of the challenge. I'd say twins, but that's a curse - trust me on that one. :)

Anne said...

Lisa, you are right. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. That is why I know I just need to be patient. And you are also right in saying that what I have dealt with so far is minor. But that still does not necessarily make it any easier. :)
And I cannot believe that twins could/would be a curse! :) I know a lot of people who would love to have them, or have them and love it. I am sure it is a lot of work but worth it in the end.

Patrick and Megan said...

How could twins be a curse?! I only was pregnant with twins for 10 weeks but was truly thankful for that blessing.

Megnhope said...

Now I get it Anne. And I am sorry. Before Abigail I wasn't to sure I would ever be able to be a mom. But look at me now! God is just picking out the right kiddo for you two.
I know it doesn't make it any easier but our prayers are with you!

Jennifer said...

I found your blog through another blog. This post really hit home to me. We have been trying forever and our friends just started trying. They got pregnant the first month. They felt bad telling us and I smiled and pretended I was fine. But, inside I just wanted to go to bed a cry...and I did after they left. Of course I am so happy for them, but sad and bitter for us. I totally get it!